Understanding Friendship: How and Why We Make Friends

 As humans, we are sociable by nature.  We enjoy conversing with others and learning new ideas; we long to be accepted and understood.  The friends we choose reflect some aspect of our selves - good and bad.  Yet we are drawn to people, wanting to get to know them better.  What do you like in a friend?  Is it the person’s appearance?  Character?  Interests?
 
How We Make Friends
 
Young children are generally less self-conscious than adults, so they are able to approach people who seem interesting to them.  They don’t discriminate, they accept people for who they are, and launch into conversation.  It is only as we become more self-aware that we begin to zero in on the kinds of people we want for our friends.  Typically, this happens when we reach elementary school age, when we are faced with having to academically compete with our peers.
The first thing we do upon meeting someone is say hello.  First impressions are crucial - they will either make or break a friendship.  Does the other person respond in a positive way?  Once you get past that awkward introduction, you can gauge whether or not you might have anything in common with your new acquaintance.  Other times, as with school or the workplace, you know of people, but might not feel obligated to ever do more than greet those people.
 
Peer Pressure Makes a Difference
 
We tend to follow what other people do, listening to their opinions of others, especially when we are new to an environment.   After all, we want to fit in.  The same thing happens if a new person enters the scene - we want to hold that person at arm’s length until we know if he or she is considered friend material by our peers or is not a threat to our reputations.  Sadly, this is not the way we ought to be with newcomers, since we have all experienced being in their shoes before, and know what that feels like to be friendless.
 
Factor in Personal Values
 
Despite the pull of peer pressure, how we are raised determines our ability to get past others’ opinions of us and treat potential friends the way we want to be treated.  When we are active in our places of worship, or volunteer for community causes, we can become more of a friend magnet and start to care less about what others think about us.
 
Being a Friend
 
In the end, choosing who we want as friends becomes solely our decision, not anyone else’s.  Who cares if you’re made fun of because of liking someone who’s different?  Our uniqueness is what draws other people to befriend in the first place.  There are always going to be character flaws in others, but we have to make the choice to overlook them if we want to in turn be accepted by others.  So before you decide to make a new friend, think about the kind of friend you want to be, and what is in your best interest. 

Source :  http://factoidz.com

How To Find New Friends in a New School

What would you do, where would you be without some friends- listening ears, shoulders to cry on, hands to hold?  Can you imagine a world without friends?

Everybody need a friend.  Ironically, finding real friends, the tried-and-tested kind who sticks with you through thick and thin is quite a feat. 
Are you studying in a new school where you hardly know a soul?  Or are you in need of a new group to hang out with?     

Here are some tips you can follow for making new friends shares from a relationship experts:

• Smile.  It’s free and easy.  Smile make you seem friendly and happy, so people will come up and talk to you.  Fake a confident smile even if you are scared because it is your first time meeting people.
• Be confident.  Think about how fascinating you are instead of thinking how different and weird you are!  The people at your new school have probably gotten bored of each other because they are all the same old friends and with not much new to report.  So stop thinking of how people will think you won’t belong instead think of how much you have to offer to these people.
• Say hello.  To three people everyday say hello.  Try this one to anyone you recognize from standing in line or at lunch with or just anyone who crosses your path.  According to a famous quote on friendship, "You’ve got to cast your net wide enough to catch as many fish as possible."
• Lunch with them.  Don’t isolate yourself when you go to lunch.  Find a group that looks nice and sit down with them.  Just say hi to someone at the table then say, "Do you mind if I sit here with you?"
• Strike a conversation.  Strike up a conversation with one new person every day.  Start smiling and saying hello, then when people say "hi" make an effort to talk back, even if it is just idle chit-chat.  It is still a start to a friendship because the next time you see that person, you’ve already spoken before it will be easier to chat with that person each time you meet.  Do this everyday and you could potentially have thirty new friends in one month says an expert.

What is an acquaintance?
 
There is a difference between being a friend and being an acquaintance.  According to a book author an acquaintance is someone whose name you know, who you see every now and then, who you probably have something in common with and whom you feel comfortable around.  It is a person who you won’t share your life with, those actions sometimes you don’t understand because you don’t know enough about them.
 

What is a friend?

 
A friend is someone you love, not that you are in love with them, but you care and think about them when they are not there.  The best way to deal with a friend is to ask yourself:  How do I want her to react if she were in my place?  After all, that is what real friendship is all about loving your friend as you love yourself

 

Source:   http://factoidz.com